nikkosunshine's blog

recurrence.

im still tired! ahh the aftermaaath of slping late on mon ): my mom said it'd take at least 2 days to recover and sure it did hurhur ): school's been busy. and i ought to really buck up alr.

on recurrence. because all those uncertainties don't get cleared and they're just lying there. not even waiting to be cleared. they're just there and they'll just be there and yeah. is it a sad thing that you can imagine such positive things when reality doesn't seem that bright or maybe a little negative even. i don't know. things change me. your outlook on things, what you're afraid of, what you're sensitive to.

on something. i don't want it to become something that you can blackmail me on, that you can threaten me with, because i guess it's still something sensitive. it's not really anything but i hvn't learnt how to deal with it. yeah maybe it's not all that serious, but i don't even want any chance of that happening because it makes me feel uneasy. just because you know doesn't mean you know everything. and i don't really want even the slightest ill intention to be associated with it when you talk to me about it. i don't talk to just anyone about it. it's just 1 person. 1. and my diary. that's all. it's yet to become some free and easy talk topic kinda thing.

floorball outing!

tired! went from 1030 to 730 today!

met at j8 at 10+. got peach yoghurt! and part of the sole of my shoe came out ): but lucky sylvia had masking tape so i taped the sole back to my shoe. lol. looks like some mummified or injured shoe pls. yupps. headed over to bishan park. yuying sec sch was hving their celebrations there. quite cool lor. they had some volleyball interclass comp on those er. i donno what its called. the bouncy bouncy kinda gigantic thing. haha thought of crashing but in the end we didn't. so we just played frisbee volleyball and handball! my right wrist got blueblack from volleyball alr lah.my blood vessels burst sia. all the little red spots on my wrist. and i've got blueblack on my left arm from blood donation on wed!  anw alota us got sunburnt xD

went to pasta for lunch! ate so much! marinara plus half a banana pizza n barley! :D yumms. was uber full. then we went to "aiwen's" aka jill's house at ang mo kio! whoa. it has 7 rooms and it's super cosy! and she has a HUGEEEEE dog which would be uber uber uber uber tall if it stood up. i bet it'd be taller than me. lol. quite scary. but it didn't get anywhere near me :D hehe. had nice nice squash + apple pie with ice cream + latte! played games after that. lol. there was the 'funny bunny' game, where ppl stuff marshmallows into their mouths and see who can say funny bunny most clearly. lol. wanqi and oce damn pro lah! lol. and all of em looked like monkies! hahah. all the puffed up cheeks! yupp. played concentration game after that. like superhero and animal concentration. i got owned lah. lol. it's like outta beat/best - i repeated my action. lol. my brain uber slow at this kinda thing!!

went to jill's church after that. but i left before they went for the service thingy cos i not slping over at yingqi's place. yupps. uber tired now!

on life

jc life's been really busy. as in there are many activities, and i feel like i hvnt exactly settled down yet. from orientation stuff and og outings in term 1, to the many school concerts in term 2 and to all the ihcs in term 3. good in a way that i'm involved in alota activities, bad that i hvn't been putting much focus on work.

my floorball wound is itching! ): i bet there's gonna be a scar there. bleah. and it'll be quite a big one too.

sam said today's a weird day and i totally agree.

the morning started off w us collecting our natday helper shirts after assembly. got size 38 one! haha i quite like the shirt :D yupps. then we had pw. and then we had gp. and then chem tut. pc walked outta our lecture luh. we were v noisy and he made us stand. but er we were still v noisy so he just walked out. then some ppl cheered and some left the lt luh. which is like quite .... then 2 girls went to find him back and he came back and lectured for a while. then we had chem tut. bleah. i didn't do my tutorial lah. i cldnt wake up ystd aft settling pw stuff and class outing stuff. then we went for class lunch! booked like 20 seats at swensens. not bad luh. nv reserve still got seats! and the service was quite good i guess. they were v fast at giving us our seats. but anw i think alota ppl just stayed in school to eat. the food in school looked quite nice. and smelt quite nice. but 'was too full aft lunch to try any food. the crepe smelt reaallly realllyy good.

went to change into our natday helper shirt after that. then omg. zzz. someone didn't lock the door properly and i totally just opened it -.- she was like 'omg' and i was stunned and i quickly closed it back. i didn't see anyth. yupp. went to serve food at pac. omg guys are like ew? they anyhow throw rubbish pls! damn disgusting! they nv throw properly and the bones were on the floor?! and in the first place, the bag they threw the fd into wasn't even a trash bag but the bag where all the fuelcans [ok i forgot what they're called] and forks were stored! haiz. can't they like check before they throw?

yupp. went to mph for concert after that! concert was nice (: haha liked the beach balls and the glow in the dark light 'stick' thingys! haha :D and community singing was fun (: haha. it's like back in rgs days. form circles jump jump. chionged down to j8 for class movie after that! dark knight 830! haha it was such a long movie. 2.5 hours. but v engaging. lol. it's quite a cool show. it ended around 1115. so late luh. i missed the last 53 bus ): had to take 58 instead. and ok i think my luck/instincts were quite gd. lol. that i stayed around to see if 58 would come and i didn't take the wrong 358. almost did because i ran after the wrong one (goes the other direction) but it didn't stop for me.

can't rmb why. but was feeling jaded during econs. and during assembly afterwards.

im perfectionistic when i've got stuff planned properly and im quite a worrywart.

blood donation

first time donating blood today! haha the needle/thing they stick into your hand is quite thick luh! lol. quite o.O when u see the nurse poking that thing under your skin. now my arm has abita blue black. and anw i realise the blue black from floorball ihc hasn't 'healed' yet. lol.and the one on my leg still looks quite bad.

went to island creamery w sam leong and huiyi after school today! haha. ate some donno what flavor ice cream. p-sth b-sth i think. haha. quite nice :D camwhored quite abit there too. heh xD

tmr is national day! lol madness it's august alr. august rushhhh.

i had a terrible dream ystd. for like an hour. so scary ):

change

it feels like that was the 转捩点. the point where everything afterwards changed. and things weren't the same again.

change is a constant so how do you determine what caused it?

bad day

today was alright until the afternoon started. accidentally whacked someone during pe today.

then floorball quarts and semis. im sorry for being stupid and not playing well. this came in really lag because right after the game finished i was still alright. it's just that after a while things started to sink in and well yeah. it was disappointing i guess. i mean. i know ppl are disappointed luh. boo.

i realised im quite short tempered nowadays. and i think i need some time alone as well.

you know 近朱者赤近墨者黑. it's true you know. not that im exactly focusing totally on it. but it affects i guess.

i was feeling really dumb on the way home today. and i probably emo-ed abit in sch jnow. over the phone.

yknow the 'i don't care' attitude. it sucks.

ohwell. im just gonna try. try hard and try my best.

im really tired now cos it's been a long day. got pissed during break today because someone was being mean. and i don't want to fall to that level. and i've gotta prioritise right. because some things are just more important than others. some people are more important than others. and you've gotta treat them right because they mean alot to you. they're rare and hard to come by but im glad and grateful that they're here.

im sorry if i've been horrible today. the part below my left eye still hurts. bleah. and i know not the reason for it. anw. i should be appropriately relaxed. srsly.

anw thankyou to everyone who was nice today.

and im sorry we're like strangers.

Faber Drive - Tongue Tied

Faber Drive

 

dream

lol i just had a quite amusing dream. it involves people from my class.

it's damn weird lah. dreamt of camping somewhere (some weird place?). and dreamt of school as well. or more specifically, alicia's birthday. lol. so the ppl who shld be there were there. haha.

defence

comes from an instinct to be prepared for the worst
arises from fear and lack of confidence
stems from lack of trust and confusion

on different levels, on different frequencies

so why not just believe?

blogs

i don't really like vox luh. cos it isn't v archive friendly. but it's v convenient for uploading pics n music. might be trying out livejournal soon.

but till september....i'll be using this (:

went for alicia's cell group thingy today. quite cool la. haha. my first time! yupp.

anw random quotes.

Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around.

Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?

Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?

Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?

Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.

GOLD

yay! floorball guys won today! :D champs! :D haha. beat mj 2-1 :D